Twinkies. If the government can bailout the banking and auto industries (something it knows nothing about) then why can’t it bail out something more akin to itself-Twinkies!
Obama-Where is your Twinkies bailout?
Just like your beloved health care you can attach your name to this bail out. It would be called-ObamaTwink. These Government Twinkies could be shipped all around the world. Soon the entire planet could benefit from the ObamaTwink bailout and praise the name of you and Government Twinkies!
Now just expand your thought processes a bit. ObamaTwink would not end with Twinkies. It would only be the beginning! The manufacturer of the soon to be Government Twinkies also makes Ho-Ho’s and Ding Dongs.
Mr. President! The world anxiously awaits the ObamaDingDong and ObamaHoHo bailout. We could buy these products in full confidence realizing that Washington DC is full of Ding Dongs and experts on Ho-Ho’s. Government Ding Dongs. Government Ho-Ho’s. The association is a natural.
Yes Mr. President, a government Twinkies bailout could be your shining star. It would show the world how even when your beloved union ruins an industry you are still able to step in with the full power of the federal government.
Print some money Mr. President. We the People demand a Twinkies Bailout!
Think of the political advantage the Democratic Party would have come the 2016 elections. Here are a few suggested campaign slogans
The Republicans gave you cars and banks, Democrats gave you Ding Dong’s and Ho-Ho’s
Democrats: The Party of Ding Dong’s and Ho-Ho’s
Support the Government: Buy Twinkies
The progressively liberal branch of your party could be called Ding Dong Democrats. You could more appropriately name the “say and do anything for election” faction of your party the “Ho-Ho’s”
The Ho-Ho wing of the Democratic party would include loyalist like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid but also include entities like MSNBC, the NY Times and Alan Combs. The Media Ho’s could propagate and support your message of more government is better government. And if by chance Twinkies, Ding Dong’s and Ho-Ho’s started to turn a profit then the Media Ho’s could quickly lie, spread rumors and cast aspersions to squelch the free market in action. After all, this is what the Media Ho’s do for a living.
But let’s expand the thought process even further Mr. President. Think long term. Your government Twinkies Bailout and the Ding Dong Democrats could expand out to the left coast to include California, Washington and Oregon. This branch of your party would be known as the Hostess Democrats or Fruit Pie Liberals. Either way-Both fit.
What better association is there between Twinkies, Ding Dong s, Ho-Ho’s, Fruit Pies and the Democratic Party? It’s a natural! You could continue to demonize Bush and the Republicans as the evil, cruel party of the balanced diet. After all-if you can’t balance a budget, who would ever expect you to have a balanced diet!
And finally, what better representative is there for your two presidential campaign’s than Twinkies. Both were pre-packed, sweet, no substance and leave one with nothing but a lot of extra weight to carry around, just like your government.
ObamaTwink! Government Twinkies! Government Ding Dongs! Government Ho-Ho’s! Ding Dong Democrats! Fruit Pie Liberals!
The Obama Twinkies Bailout. We the People demand it!
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Twinkies: For detailed story about the demise of Twinkies and Hostess Brands read: Who Killed Hostess? Not the Butler but the Baker!